Edna, 57, has struggled with her weight for years. Secretly, she
longs for the perfect body of a movie star. Surely that would
make her life dramatically better.
In the past, she would diet, exercise, lose a few pounds, then
gain them all back and more. Since menopause, no diet or exercise
program seems to work at all. She just seems to steadily gain
weight no matter what she tries. Depressing.
Because she’s familiar with the law of attraction, she tries to
visualize herself as slender and fit. Usually, she finds herself
thinking, who am I kidding?
At the end of the work day, she finds herself feeling drained,
and without the energy to exercise or create the raw food meals
she believes are her last chance to help her to lose weight.
Occasionally, she feels inspired and motivated to do what seems
required, but most of the time, the subject of her weight leaves
her feeling resentful and discouraged. Whether it’s
visualization, dieting, exercising, it’s too much work with too
little reward.
*****
George, a 62 year old realtor, has debilitating headaches and
insomnia. When the real estate market sank several years ago, he
decided to create an internet business.
He purchased lots of online programs to learn what to do, and has
worked hard to try to attain the success that he sees others
around him having.
Occasionally, he feels excited and motivated to work extra hard,
trying the newest strategy. But most of the time he resents how
hard he has to work, with so little return on his efforts.
The worst part is that when he works hard, which seems required
to make any money, his headaches get worse. When he gets
discouraged and backs off of his work, he gets worried about
money, and his insomnia gets worse.
He feels stuck between a rock and a hard place, with no good
options. But he believes he just has to try harder.
*****
Phyllis, 58, longs for a husband. She has had a series of lovers,
and has been divorced twice. The pain of her broken heart seems
to have settled in her body, and she’s been diagnosed with
fibromyalgia.
Phyllis looks around herself and sees other women her age, happy
with their husbands and nice houses, enjoying travel and being
grandmothers. Here she is, struggling financially, estranged from
her one daughter, and lonely.
She does daily affirmations and visualizations, reads and listens
to every law of attraction book and program she can find. She
tries to think hopefully about finding someone who will love and
support her, but mostly feels bitter, regretful about her past
decisions, and sad.
*****
What do these three people have in common?
They are all students of the Law of Attraction.
They are all working hard to get what they want.
They are all trying to do what they think is
required.
They all grew up in a generation in which they
saw their parents succeed by working hard to
overcome great odds.
Their bodies are all suffering.
They all feel frustrated and resentful that
their efforts are not bearing fruit.
They all think they just need to try harder.
What is the problem with this?
Aren’t we supposed to focus on what we want, in
order to be successful in applying the Law of
Attraction?
Aren’t we supposed to keep bringing our
attention back to this focus, trying to feel
happy about what we want?
Aren’t we supposed to try harder when it’s not
working?
*****
So many of us have struggled with some personally familiar issue
for years–weight, pain, disability, illness, financial problems,
loneliness, relationship woes–and every time the topic comes up,
we feel flooded with unhappiness.
Along come these teachers of the Law of Attraction, telling us we
can’t get what we want unless we can feel positive about it.
If you’re fat, you’re supposed to happily
visualize being thin, right?
If you’re sick, in pain, disabled, you’re
supposed to see yourself as vibrantly
healthy, right?
If you’re broke, you’re supposed to see
yourself as rich, right?
If you’re lonely, you’re supposed to see
yourself in the relationship of your
dreams, right?
But when you think “thin,” or “healthy,” or “rich,” or “in love,”
or “successful,” and you know you’re not even close, you just
feel depressed, discouraged, and hopeless.
Have you had this experience?
It’s easy to wind up feeling hopeless, when you just can’t
sustain positive feelings about getting what you want, because
the problem of the current situation is so glaringly impossible
to ignore.
Fortunately, there’s a different solution than just trying
harder. It’s easy when you understand that the problem may not be
what you thought it was at all!
*****
The Problem.
If you were to ask any of these three people what they really
believe about why they aren’t getting what they want, their
answers will boil down to some version of this: Scarcity and
separation.
“There’s not enough of what I want or need,
and/or there’s something wrong with me,
and/or someone is preventing me from
getting it.”
When your view of “reality” is limited to the world of form, the
world can be a scary place. It looks like we’re limited to
competing for scarce resources. It looks like we can only get the
treasured resources if we are smarter, richer, more beautiful,
luckier, more perfect, better connected, or harder working than
the others against whom we are competing. And, no matter what we
get, we’re always at risk of losing it to someone smarter,
richer, more beautiful, luckier, more perfect, better connected,
or harder working.
In other words, the required currency to get what you want looks
like smarts, money, beauty, luck, perfection, connections, and
hard work.
It *looks* to Edna like having the perfect body
is the currency of a fulfilling life.
It *looks* to George like financial success is
the currency of a fulfilling life.
It *looks* to Phyllis like having just the
right partner is the currency of a fulfilling
life.
But these are just how it looks on the surface. These are the
representations in form of the tip of the iceberg, supported by
an entire mountain of invisible “formless stuff” beneath the
surface.
What’s *really* going on beneath the surface that is creating
these forms is the true currency of the universe.
The true currency being passed around in the world of the
formless–what “buys” everything in the world of form–is energy.
Your access to this energy is your attention.
What buys what you don’t want is your attention on thoughts of
scarcity and separation. The energy this creates feels like
frustration, resentment, regret, bitterness, anger,
discouragement, hopelessness.
What buys what you want is your attention on thoughts of
abundance, love, freedom, faith, connection with All. The energy
this creates feels like joy, delight, appreciation, happiness.
*****
The Solution.
Knowing all this, what should our friends DO?
If *you’re* in the “try harder club,” what should *you* do?
Should you try harder to get your attention on abundance, love,
faith, connection?
My advice is to take a break from trying.
Don’t buy another self improvement program.
Don’t try to eat better.
Don’t try to get yourself to exercise.
Don’t try to think better thoughts.
Don’t try to visualize a better life.
Instead,
Go out and play.
Find something to laugh about.
Find something that delights your soul.
See what happens when this, and not all that effort, is where you
put your attention for a month or two.
You might just be in for a surprise! 😉