Those People Who Are Wrong

***I started this article a few weeks ago, right after the
elections. Now that Thanksgiving is upon us here in the
USA, and you may be getting together with family
members–with whom you may not always have the
smoothest relationships–you might consider it in that light.

THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE WRONG

Have you found yourself at one time or another feeling
irritated or critical of others whose ideas are
different from yours?

You know who I mean: your partner or spouse, your
parents, children, siblings, inlaws, extended family
members, neighbor, government leader, politician,
corporation, members of groups whose ideas feel
threatening to what you love…

Would your life be easier if everyone around you had
“appropriate” or “correct”–or just the same as your:

– standards of tidiness and beauty for their yards,
homes, cars…
– standards for quiet
– standards for how they should treat others
– behavior relative to you, your family, your
choices, and your possessions
– beliefs about food, health, religion, politics,
the military, the environment, immigration, the
economy, ambition, what’s important in life…

Wouldn’t it be great if they knew just what you wanted,
and cooperated in every way necessary for you to have
it all, without your even having to ask for it? 🙂

Who’s to say what’s appropriate or correct anyway? YOU,
of course!

Yup, by “appropriate” and “correct,” I mean what agrees
with your own ideas. Much as we’d like there to be
absolutes of right and wrong, good and bad, the truth
is that whatever the source of your moral code, there
will be others who disagree with you and don’t want to,
don’t choose to, and even don’t think it’s right to
live by the same rules, laws, standards, or beliefs
that are important to you.

Despite my intellectual understanding of the idea that
each person, and only that person, can only determine
what is right for him or herself, I find myself judging
others who don’t agree with what I think is right more
often than I’d like to admit. I want them to agree with
me–because of course, I’m “right!”

I do believe that we all have our own individual
guidance, which is why it’s not appropriate or useful
for me to judge anyone else. Plus, I’ve noticed that
it’s stressful, and is therefore bad for my health to
cling to my righteous stance in the face of those with
other beliefs, standards, or behavior.

So, I get to choose: what would I prefer, being
“right,” or being happy and healthy?

What do you prefer?

Any time someone “pushes your buttons,” they have
stumbled into an idea of yours that is more important
to you than your happiness and peace of mind.

You get to choose how you want to be.

That is, of course, if you agree with my premises. 🙂

I’d be interested in your thoughts about this,
including how much agreement you think there needs to
be in marriage, in families, in business relationships.
Do you think your partner/spouse/child/employee/boss
“represents” you–and therefore needs to agree with
you–because of your relationship to him or her?

Meanwhile, if you do find yourself stressed about the differences
between your ideas and those of others in your
life–even if those others are people you’ve never met
in countries halfway around the world–here’s an
incredibly useful resource:

Check out any of the hundreds of videos of Byron Katie
with “The Work.”

Here’s where you might start:

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=The+Work+Byron+Katie&Form=VQFRVP

If you do a search, you’ll find loads of her videos to
watch so you can learn how to do it yourself.

I also recommend all of her books.