~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BE WELL! ™
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
28 June 2013 * * * * * * * * * * * * ISSN 1549-0017
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Dr. Alexandra Gayek
http://www.scienceofbeingwell.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this edition …
1. Welcome!
2. Quotes for Healing: The Value of Diversity
3. Feature Article: Perfect Health: An Imperfect
Ideal?
4. The Last Word: Love, No Matter What
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. WELCOME!
This ezine is here to support you in making your
wellness a reality! You deserve a great life in a
healthy body–if that’s what you want!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. QUOTES FOR HEALING: The Value of Difference
“Having always imagined myself in a fairly
slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in
vast company. Difference unites us.”
— Andrew Solomon, “Far from the Tree”
“The world is made more interesting by
having every sort of person in it.”
— Andrew Solomon
“To love another human in all of her splendor
and imperfect perfection, it is a magnificent
task…tremendous and foolish and human.”
— Louise Erdrich
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. FEATURE ARTICLE: PERFECT HEALTH: AN IMPERFECT IDEAL?
Do you believe it should be the goal for every person
alive to have a perfectly functioning body?
If so, who should define “perfect?”
What if a person is happier in his or her “imperfect”
body than most people who are in bodies closer to your
idea of perfect?
Should anyone’s idea of perfection be imposed on
others, even children?
Big questions.
For years I’ve been believing and teaching that, as Mr.
Wattles says, that “every person can attain perfect
health.” This, with the idea that of course everyone
wants, or should want, “the priceless blessing of
perfect health.”
But as I read Andrew Solomon’s provocative book, “Far
from the Tree,” I find myself questioning some
potentially slimy underpinnings of that ideal of
perfect health.
Here’s the thing. When I think about it from this new
perspective, I find an uncomfortable similarity between
the idea that everyone should have perfect health and
the idea that there is a specific ideal to which we all
should be compared. Kind of like a “master race.”
This is not very different from what so many of us do
every time we look in the mirror–find fault with the
ways in which we look different from our idea of the
ideal body.
Given the very prevalent media images–in the USA at
least–of the perfect female body as that of a slender
airbrushed teen model or a big-breasted goddess, and
the perfect male as a tall, tanned, muscled man in his
prime with six-pack abs and full head of hair, it’s not
too surprising that those of us who don’t look much
like those images have some discomfort, shame or
embarrassment about our bodies.
Nor is it too surprising that so many of us we would
actually do ourselves physical harm in order to look
more like that ideal. Case in point: the current fad of
aging men to take extra testosterone so they can look
younger and more buff, even though it increases their
risk of cancer and heart disease.
Mr. Wattles doesn’t say we are to strive for perfect
looks. What he says is perfect function. But he does
say we are to form a “conception of perfect health,”
which is pretty tough to do without a visual image to
match.
To me, it’s all too easy to find fault with ourselves
and others who don’t measure up to our ideas of either
kind of perfection, and to be jealous of those who do.
What’s missing is valuing the variety of human
experience.
After all, there are deaf people who prefer their
deafness and deaf culture, and do not want to have
“perfect” functioning of their ears. There are short
people, even dwarfs, who value their difference from
average stature and do not long for different bodies.
Who is to say that their bodies are any less perfect
manifestations of humanity than any other kind of body?
What if, rather than pitying or being horrified or
disgusted by someone–including yourself–whose body or
function is far from your ideal, you saw that person as
part of the wonderful variety of human beings?
What if you saw and honored that person–including
yourself–as temporarily choosing to experience life
this way–if that expression of humanity was actually a
choice, and not some kind of tragic mistake, flaw, or
accident of nature?
What if you were grateful to that person–including
yourself–for the opportunity to learn to love
unconditionally BECAUSE of his or her difference from
your ideal?
What do you think the world would be like if we all
enjoyed, with wonder and curiosity, people–including
ourselves–who have very differently functioning and
looking bodies from our ideals, rather than fearing and
rejecting them?
Reading Mr. Solomon’s book brought me face to face with
prejudices I didn’t know I had, and brought healing and
love to prejudices I squirmed about. Having focused for
so many years on my job to help people change, it’s
humbling to remember that the most effective way to
help anyone–ourselves included–to experience the full
radiance of our human experience, is not to compare
ourselves to some ideal or find what’s “wrong,” but
instead to start with fully honoring ourselves just as
we are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. THE LAST WORD: LOVE, NO MATTER WHAT
Is there a difference in the experience of a human
being between being loved, being accepted, and being
honored, respected, and admired?
Is it really love if it comes with wanting a person to
change?
Is it really acceptance if it comes with a “but?”
Can you fully honor yourself or another person without
embracing the right of every person to be alive, to
have his or her experience of life as it is, to love,
to have children?
Check out the TED video of Andrew Solomon, telling his
very moving and provocative story, here:
http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_love_no_matter_what.html
Be sure to read the comments after you’ve watched the video!
With love and appreciation,
Dr. Alexandra Gayek
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To subscribe to the ezine and receive it by email, go to:
Perfect Health must be a subjective mind/body experience not necessarily manifested in appearance but by individual self-expression and how one relates to others. The concept of life as a spiral within a spiral seems more practical to deal with the concept of Perfect Health than a more linear concern about body shape, skin, hair, and handicaps.
Hi Roy,
Thanks for that lovely definition. Can you say more about the image of the spiral within the spiral? I’m intrigued.
With love and appreciation,
Alexandra
Thank You Dr. Alexandra Gayek!
Your article inadvertently reveals the conditioning factor that has apparently permeated the human psyche. My first response is to suggest avoiding the conditioning input (TV, movies and the like) and begin learning about the new medicine (www.learninggnm.com) so and exercise an appreciation for the inherent wisdom that is genetically programmed in every body. Nature’s perfection runs deep and that depth is not commercialized. However, there also is the findings of Weston A.Price in his seminal work including a whole gallery of photographs that show how the “perfection” of health does get expressed when people live in harmony with their ancestral wisdom which includes their traditional diet.
Hi Chef Jem,
Great to hear from you, and thanks for your insight!
I agree that we should be selective in exposing ourselves just to what will support who and how we want to be.
Thanks for sharing that link–very interesting stuff there! I’ve only begun to explore it. What experience do you have using the “biological laws?”
I too am a big fan of Weston Price. You may recall that I completely rewrote Chapter 10, “What to Eat” in my edited version of The Science of Being Well, based on Price’s work.
The point of my article though, was to share a perspective I gained about my previously unquestioned assumption that everyone wants, or should want, perfect health–according to my idea of what that means.
When I looked deeply at it, I recognized the arrogance and inappropriateness of pushing my “should” of my idea of perfect health on myself and others, and felt the soaring freedom of loving and respecting all of us for our own choices of what we value.
If someone chooses to value looking a certain way or fitting in to a certain group more than his or her health or longevity, who am I to say that’s wrong?
Something to think about!
With love and appreciation,
Alexandra
well think of it this way we are not imperfect’ just rough edged’ .if you nedeed a perfect’ thing that did a perfect square out of broken glass you would converge’ all the errors so they would round off to a certain desired number. So I don’t think its impossible to acquire a perfect’ or desirable goal as a whole .because errors and rough edges can converge’ to a correct one. Its just intuition just like in calculus you sum small areas so they add to one converged’ number of the area under the curve so with error you converge’ to aproximate the perfect’ correct’ ideal goal .if there is even such a thing.